he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
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