Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
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