and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
Randomize
