the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Drake has all the answers
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Randomize
