love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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