"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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