I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
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