drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
