i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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