After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
