I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
