ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
