she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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