I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize