that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
