We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize