we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
