We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Randomize
