Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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