Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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