someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
These Dirty People Haven’t Told Their SO About Their Kinky Fetish
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
This is Why People Stop Sex Halfway Through
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw