either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Randomize
