didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
