dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
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