not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style