Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
Randomize
