I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
How's work?
Spinning.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
