the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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