Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
