guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
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