who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
