he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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