On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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