He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
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