Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
i believe in u and ur pee
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
