It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Randomize
