Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
