garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
