her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Randomize
