The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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