Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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