I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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