Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Randomize
