there was a trapeze. enough said
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
We just shotgunned beers for America
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Randomize
