Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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