you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
