So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
