I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
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