If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
