I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
