He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
