He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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