id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
