these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
