i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
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