Only a mothe r could love this liver
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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