I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
