Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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