I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
