you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Randomize
