We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
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