He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
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That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
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To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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