it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
