didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
