He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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