Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Randomize
